Forgiveness: Starting Over

William Meninger writes that "when we forgive someone we are saying: 'You are no longer to be allowed to govern my life. Henceforth I will [live] not as reactions to your infliction, but from my own free decisions.'"  Why is forgiveness so difficult?  In this season of Yom Kippur, how might we free ourselves from the downward-spirals of hatred and hurt?